Date: Nov 29, 2006 7:03 PM
Subject No-Pods!

Well, now we know, folks: a new study has confirmed that teenagers whose iPods are jam-packed with sexually explicit music are more likely than other teens to have sex. (Huuuh!)

The type of music doesn’t matter — hip-hop, rap, rock — the devil isn’t in the details; it’s in the music. Songs that “stereotype men as sex-driven studs and women as sex objects,” and songs that provide teens with explicit references to sex acts are more likely to trigger early sexual behavior. (Huuuh!) Teenagers who admit listening to lots of music with “degrading” sex messages are almost twice as likely to act them out as are teens who listen to “nonsexual music.” (Huuuh!)

The study, in the August issue of Pediatrics, was based on phone interviews with almost 1,500 kids between 12 to 17. Lead author Steven Martino says exposure to raunchy lyrics lowers kids’ inhibitions and makes them more prone to make sexual decisions they’ll regret. According to Martino, the music teaches girls to view themselves as sex objects, and boys learn they should be relentless in pursuit of women.

Folks, a responsible society cannot allow this unacceptable situation to threaten America’s yutes. The children are our future. And we cannot afford to have another generation of teenage boys — oversexed predators — viewing girls as sex objects.

There’s only one solution that makes sense. It is time to get this music out of the hands of teenagers! Parents — when your kids come home tonight — confiscate their iPods! (And, by the way, throw away your own Beatles records to save your own life in the bedroom.)