Date: Dec 14, 2006 6:32 PM
Subject 2030

Oh, goodie! Isn’t this exciting! A team of academics and scientists, environmentalist wackos, and city planners looked into their crystal balls — and they have a dire forecast for New York City.

By the year 2030, they warn, the city will have so many inhabitants there won’t be enough electricity or housing to go around. Commuting will be a nightmare; rush hour will last all day. (Like it doesn’t now?) New York’s entire infrastructure must be overhauled. The energy grid has to be replaced. The subway system, still using 1940 technology, has to be modernized. A new network of roads must be built, and more housing — if people are going to avoid homelessness.

If changes aren’t made now — while there’s still time — New York City is doomed, they say. But the expert panel has ideas to save it. (What do you think they ideas are?) Well, city drivers should pay higher taxes. New Yorkers oughta pay more taxes — including taxes on every pound of trash (and let’s recalculate how we define “trash” to get more tax).
But I don’t think this is going to be enough, folks. Survival will cost hundreds of billions of dollars — maybe trillions. New Yorkers must make difficult choices; time to look this problem dead in the eye and defeat it — and there’s only one solution.

If you New Yorkers want to survive, keep your culture, keep your city — keep hope alive — each one of you must budget. Honestly. Determine what you need to live on — no frills. Then retain only that amount and send the rest to New York City’s government. Tax yourselves. For survival. Or face doom in 2030. It’s your choice. Over and out.