Date: Dec 7, 2006 8:51 AM
Subject Got A Switch?

Multitude of stories today, folks. Dateline: San Francisco. With the familiar slogan “Got Milk?,” a new ad campaign at city bus shelters used scented oils to produce the smell of freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies. City officials got complaints, though: “You’re bothering people with food sensitivities!” (…as buses roared by.) “You’re offending people and homeless people, who can’t afford to buy these cookies!” Now it’s: Ain’t got no home, ain’t got no dough — ain’t got no ads. The cookie ads have been tossed.

From Los Angeles: Hollywood Reporter hosted a celebrity breakfast to promote their 15th annual “Women in Entertainment Power 100” list. Keynote speaker actress Maria Bello drew loud cheers when she exclaimed: “I’d just like to say this: The Speaker of the House is a chick!”

But apparently, even powerful gals have issues. Bello, describing her hectic role as a mother, admitted to the crowd that she finally got around to “shaving two-week-old growth” under her arms. To which another keynoter, Maggie Gyllenhaal, interjected: “I still have two-week-old growth [under my arms]!” Apparently, the sweet smell of success for power Hollywood babes is underarm hair. Forget “Got milk?” The question there is: “Got deodorant?”

Columbia, South Carolina. A mother had her 12-year-old boy arrested after he repeatedly took a Game Boy — a Christmas present — from its hiding place at his great-grandmother’s home to play with it. The boy was cuffed, and charged with petty larceny. In days past, the problem would have been dealt with differently and much soon. It’s called: “Got a belt? Bend over, kid.”