Date: Dec 1, 2006 7:40 PM
Subject Spray On!

A guy named Jan Vinzenz Krause runs an outfit called the Institute for Condom Consultancy in Germany. He heads a team developing the world’s first spray-on condom. No joke here, folks. Their goal is to help people enjoy their experiences while providing “added safety.”

Mr. Krause is “very serious.” He says: “We’re trying to develop the perfect condom for men that’s suited to every size..” A condom that will be the perfect fit for every…man. Even — everybody.

Now, here’s the process. The Institute is developing a special spray can, into which the male in… Then he pushes a button. Mr. Krause explains: “It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides. We call it the ‘360 degree procedure;’ once round from top to bottom. It’s [sort of] like a car wash,” he says.

The entire process takes about five seconds (maybe less, depending…). An added benefit, though, is the spray-on condom will be more effective than traditional condoms; because of the custom fit, they won’t slip. They’re expected to hit the market in 2008. Did I mention they come in different colors? So to speak.

So in future years, mankind — perhaps womankind too — may well regard the work being conducted at a German Institute at this very moment to be the crucial turning point in the long battle to promote and achieve safe sex in every corner of the world. Some day, folks, it’s just going to be: “Spray on!”