“The Scots have raised their threat level from ‘Pissed Off’ to ‘Let’s get
the Bastards.’ They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they
have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.”

 “The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from ‘Run’ to ‘Hide.’ The only two higher levels in France are ‘Collaborate’ and ‘Surrender.’ The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability. “